Letting Go to Grow
As I looked at my seemingly weed ridden flower bed in front of our home of 3 years now, I snorted and shook my head with a grin at how I once had the thought towards it “you are the bane of my existence”.
My garden, in no way meets any ideal standards for an aesthetically pleasing presentation.
The first two years I did everything I could to keep the overwhelming weeds and grass choked out, and leveled in that garden, to tame the relentless army of thistles and blades of green. I even went overboard with buying potted flowers and putting them to the left of the garden to distract from the eye sore whose soil wouldn’t grow anything but annoying, unwanted weeds and sharp grasses.
This year, I let things go. Every time I would pass that flower bed after a long, fulfilling day, which included anything from the job I love and find joy at, precious time with family and friends, time for yoga, horses, important errands (toilet paper must always be in stock at home!), mowing our huge lawn, or just wanting to save my last bit of best for time with my husband, I would think “ well, the weeds are already taking over, and it’s not that important. Not a life or death situation, I’ve done my best already for today, I’ll leave it be”. And just like that I let it go, one small, grace-filled, self-loving thought at a time.
Besides pulling out some of the tallest weeds on the borders of the garden, and planting some resilient caladiums as recommended by my mom and dad, I did nothing to that garden, and expected nothing, judged nothing, and went on with my full life.
What I got as a result of letting go, was two of my favorite flowers growing, and popping up to say hello, on their own, in my garden. Black Eyed Susans, and Queen Anne’s Lace were growing in MY garden, without any effort from me! And, I realized for the past two years, I had unknowingly ripped those beautiful flowers out of existence in my efforts to control the horrible weeds. I halted good from happening by trying so hard to keep the bad at bay. When I made space to let go of the need for a perfect looking garden that others would view when coming to our home, I opened up room for growing beauty I could not have forced or planned myself. I also unwittingly opened a door for what I am experiencing in life right now; letting go means acknowledging and even making space for the uncomfortable, painful, and ugly parts of life, and by doing so, room is also made for beyond-imaginable beauty, wonder, magic, joy, and love to flourish at the same time.